I was…

After a brutal struggle with this week’s hypertexts, I’m lost. I watched as letters floated around on the screen to make new words and to create a new meaning to a paragraph. I read and re-read the sections over and over again trying to decide what to make of it. I struggled with the temptation to just stop caring and to finish the reading quickly, but then I remembered I didn’t want to end up under my desk again. So I decided to be lost, and in that I found comfort. Its not that I don’t understand the words, I can in fact read. I can string together the ideas and pretend like most of us do to fully understand this on a deeper level. The problem here though, is that there seems to be, well… no point.

It was fun to watch the letters move around, at first I tried to memorize where the letters went, I tried to find a hidden meaning as they enlarged and evaporated. Instead I got a fist full of letters that just ended up slipping through my fingers. Then I watched my remaining letters fall into words. Unrelated, but what more could I expect. I looked at lists of words like “Grendel, pewter, ghetto, wrestle, rodeo”. Suddenly I pictured a pewter Beowulf daemon wearing a wrestling singlet riding a horse through the ghetto. I will say one thing, while I’m still lost for what this means, I did get some interesting pictures to think of. In that, I found some fun, but nothing that could help me understand the reason behind the writing.

Confused, lost and just hoping to god there wasn’t a Slenderman in this new environment I moved on. I was thrilled to click through “The Unknown”. When someone says a work is large, you shrug it off and just try to prove them wrong. To rise to the challenge. This work was enormous. Sometimes a new link would appear, and then there would be this whole new section. I thought of the moving staircase in Hogwarts. Random. The story appears to follow three guys, but sometimes you would lose a character through your navigation and then not see them for 15 minutes of reading. Inefficient. Its like a prank, every time I start to string things together, the text severs those links and tosses me around for a while until it allows me false security again.

Something I do very well, breathe. In almost twenty one years I have been doing this effortlessly. Of course these hypertexts decided to mess with that one thing I do well. I was tossed around, I was beaten, I was confused, I was reborn, I was understanding, I was fooled, I was fighting back, I was reading, I was fearless, I was lost, I was dead.


~ by brogarn on February 24, 2013.

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